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DIY Fest.

I spent my day at the Binghamton DIY fest in direct action training.

The instructor Tom, teaches an Intro to Anarchy class. Check it out.

I’ll write about my personal experience when I find the time.

You’ve taken over my mind. You’ve raped my thoughts with your image viruses then sold me fake cures for your own disease. Your words and pictures scream orders at me like angry prison wardens. When I cover my ears, your voices echo in my head. I hate you. When I see your billboards, your talk shows, your rock concerts and your factories, when I see the work of your twisted libidos, I want to kill you. I want to set fires, plant bombs, derail trains. I want to smash your buildings and tear at your bodies until the skin of my hands is worn to the bone. I am filled with a rage that burns my eyes.

I don’t want to feel this way. You have done this to me. These feelings are the fruits of your multi-billion dollar sowing. And I am not alone. There are others like me out here. Every suicide, every madman, every man and woman who gets a gun and just starts shooting — these are your illegitimate children. They don’t all know what they are doing. All they know is hate for the invisible walls which you have raised around them, hate for the narrow path you have tried to make them walk. And the innocent pay in blood for your negligence.

Remember this: My mind is big. The more you try to push me down and make me small, the greater the pressure inside me becomes. The greater the pressure, the greater the chance of an explosion. There was once a time when I felt love, but now I feel only hate and anger, and fear at what I might do. And you can tell me to “BE HAPPY,” but I know that you really mean “BE QUIET”.

Believe me, I want to be happy. You stand in my way.

from here

sunshine

I haven’t been writing because it’s just too lovely out. Since the last post I have acquired two pet frogs (Daniel and Eli) and built a terrarium of moss and lichen. I’ll be researching more about gardening in small areas and may be doing more of the terrarium sort of thing.

Enjoy the sunny days!

Pain

I’ve been going through a lot of pain lately. I fear that I’m not enough. Not happy enough, not working enough, not smart enough, etc. I have been shoving my feelings down inside myself for so long I feel people don’t know what I truly care about. I have lost friends, many of friends. And there are some I wish were still in my life, because I feel we would have a better relationship than we did back then. I could beg, scream and cry and still not get an answer from them. I’m afraid I went so long without taking anything seriously, and not its to late to be treated as someone who gives a shit.
Basically: I am upset
I hate that this world is such a shit hole
I hate that people don’t believe me when I say I would do anything if I knew it would make a difference?
I am working so hard to find out what I can do. I imagine it will be dangerous, and extreme but when the time comes I will be ready.
I just hope to hell I wont be alone.

Music

We all go through phases different things we want to do. Sometimes I am in a learning phase, sometimes a doing phase, and right now I am in a lay back and really absorb music phase. I have always loved a wide verity of music and this spring break I’m taking the time to re-familiarize myself with some old music and trying to find some new bands/singers/composers. My music tastes have never been static, they change sometimes over weeks and other times months or a year; but usually I come to a time where I need a change (whether it be drastic or slight). Right now I just really want to enjoy something I haven’t had time to enjoy for a while.

Today, I finished Walking on Water. I honestly think so fondly of it, that instead of writing about it I am just going to suggest you go out and read it for yourself. It’s a good one, trust me. So, Instead of writing more about the book I am going to write about my way of learning / reading.

I have a lot of passionate opinions on education, and how children should learn. I believe in unschooling for the most part, even though I went to school my whole entire life. What makes me so sure that unschooling could work for other children is that all the important things I have ever learned have been self taught. Throughout my life I have studied zoology, art, and technology on my own, my only outside sources being books.

I believe that when children have access to the right resources, the possibilities become limitless. To paraphrase what Grace Llewellyn said in The Teenage Liberation Handbook, “which has more books? A school or library?” Stating that school is not the one-stop-shop for education we all give it to be, a much more well rounded education can be provided from libraries, zoos, nature preserves, hospitals, co-ops, parks, etc… Not only will these places supply one with a great education, but foster creativity and expression as well; something schools do not do so well.

These thoughts has been consistent throughout most of my schooling years, and has followed me to college, which has really been no different. My whole life I did bare minimum of what was needed at school so I could go home and read on things that really interested me. I became really good at following directions and getting good grades without effort so I could go guilt-free to my personal work. Now, college requires so much to get a grade as good as a C. This is not a surprise to me, what is is that I got tricked into thinking College would appreciated new ways of thinking and creativity. In college the professors thoughts and opinions are integrated into everything, so if you don’t agree you might as well drop the class. Homework can take up your whole day so you have absolutely no time to enjoy life. I wish I had more time to read books of my choice. Right now I am struggling with balancing my own research and reading with schoolwork. I can not say it’s going as well as I planned.

I could end this with some great advice on how to make the situation all better, but I have none. This is my current dilemma and biggest struggle. I am doing all I can to balance my life, and this may be what I write about; if not too frustrated by the topic. Overall having time to read Derrick Jensen’s Walking on Water was wonderful, it was exactly what I needed and gave me some strength to continue on. To best help the environment I really should know everything about biology and ecology, meaning that I will have to keep pushing myself. One day what I have learned here will matter.